Adventures of a desperate housewife

Why desperate? Well my school lost its' accredidation, then I got layed off. Yep. Pretty pathetic at this point. Almost 9 weeks into unemployment, only 2 checks to show for it (totaling under $500 combined), and today a ridiculous meltdown. Stir-crazy, depressed, fat and unmotivated. After a brief health scare which turned out to be the very common female ailment of uterine fibroids, just one to be exact, but painful. When I went to the doctor for my followup, the worst news I recieved is that I have high cholesterol (it's happened several times before, but since it's hereditary she assured me it would be an eternal struggle), and a body mass index not within a number my doctor was very pleased with. Boo-Hoo.

Some days it's hard to do anything, my body is physically depressed as well as my mind. Not to write this to depress the rest of you, but I have found through my previous struggles with it that keeping it out in the open is helpful.

I'm watching Julie & Julia again, always cheers me up. I have a few go-to's when it comes to feeling down, or even just the common cold: J & J, Juno, The Holiday and of course, all of my Friends DVD sets, but you know it's bad when I break out Ross and Rachel. Anyways Julie Powell is so inspiring to me, not only because she is so absolutely adorable, but because her husband and her seem so much like Sam and I. She is ridiculously high strung and worried, while her husband tries to laugh it off and be the voice of reason.

Speaking of my gorgeous husband, he has been incredibly supportive and just all around stand up man through this tough time. Someone asked me recently if I am still in the honeymoon phase. I would love to be, but life threw a few curve balls, and well, we're in it for real and this is our life.

I feel very different since being a married lady, and so does Sam (for being a married man, not lady). We have taken the partnership to the enth degree while things have taken their turn.

On a high note, I have decided to go back to school (a real school, not a specialty) and get my bachelor's degree in business from Chapman's adult education branch they named Brandman University. So curently I am finishing up general ed at Saddleback and Irvine Valley. I much prefer IVC, smaller and easier campus to navigate and quieter and prettier.

Back to the sunject line: I looked over at Sam while going to bed the other night and asked him "Am I a housewife now?" His simple answer "yes". That's just freaking great. What I always wanted... not even close! How did this happen? It was not supposed to... not at 25 without children or an established plan to be so. I like cooking, but not every night, I like cleaning, but not everyday. I feel since I have nothing better to do that I should be Bree Van de Camp. But I just can't and won't.

I have been sending in resumes daily, I should count really, it would probably be over 50 but under 100. I have been trying to keep my pride by not letting myself apply to retail stores or something similar. I feel like at 25, married, having a house, a car, a cat, etc. that I should have a rewspectable job. Even if it was part time which it will need to be since I'm going back to school. Today after my meltdown (and it was a big one) Sam said that if I wanted his advice he would say to get a retail job if for nothing else my sanity, and I'm sure his. I know he is right, so tomorrow I htink I shall look for something. I do love books, so perhaps Borders or Barnes & Noble? None of the libraries are hiring I have checked them. I might find somewhere to volunteer too; good for the soul. Blogging will surely help too.

                                                                     Until next time....